Head trauma Hobbies

My post head-trauma hobby was naming things.

Usually, when people name something they are attempting to solidify a relationship. Naming a new goldfish establishes some sort of relationship. It brings you closer to Clementine, than you would be to “the goldfish”.

I guess the first name I bestowed falls into that category. The guys who drove the ambulance to the hospital in Springfield had dark hair and wore gold chains. They immediately became “the Guido’s”. And although I didn’t feel as if they were saving me on the ride from Rogers to Springfield, I would later call out for them to save me from my imagined Peruvian kidnappers.( See “A Bad trip Goes Downhill”)

The second thing I named was my aneurysm. It became known as Winston, after a saxophone player who performed with the Average White Band in the 1970s. Their hit song was called “Pick up the Pieces.” I have no idea where this fact or this person came from, Winston just appeared in a baby blue leisure suit wearing white patent leather platform shoes. When my head hurt I remember telling the nurses that Winston was stomping around in his big shoes.

Naming the thing that had caused me so much pain and anguish, was not an attempt to form a closer relationship. Naming Winston was, in fact, an attempt to disassociate myself from a part of my body that I couldn’t control. Naming Winston gave me someone else to blame; someone to cuss out.

Turned out, there were many other body parts I couldn’t control. My first words after surgery, after the stroke, were, “Whose arm is this?” I couldn’t move it, I couldn’t feel it, so it couldn’t be mine.

When I started referring to it as my little dead arm. The nurses told me I couldn’t call it that, because it wasn’t dead. So my damaged brain went to work. I came up with the name Lida, a sort of skewed acronym for little dead arm. Again I was able to separate myself from an arm I couldn’t control. An arm that didn’t respond at all. Even when I called her all sorts of bad names.

Perhaps the funniest name belonged to the first shoe I bought to wear with my AFO (ankle foot orthotic): a big plastic brace that kept my drooping foot from tripping me. It was two full sizes larger than the shoe that fit my right foot and became known as my Frankenstein shoe. This would later be shortened to Frank. Needless to say that gigantic shoe was always getting hung up. Obviously, I’d bought two pairs of shoes. I was never so glad to donate shoes to the Samaritan House.

Once freed from those bright white terribly un-Vic shoes, my left leg and foot were christened Lefty. Frank was gone, hopefully never to be seen again.

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About Vic Cobb Fountain

Empowered Stroke survivor: appreciating where I've been, anticipating where I'm going.
This entry was posted in stroke, stroke survivor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Head trauma Hobbies

  1. Anonymous says:

    Vic, I too have a dead left arm, and I too name things. I had a right brain aneurysm about 4 years ago…still recovering, I read your blog because it resonates with my experience. Its certainly been an interesting detour, and an unexpected chapter, but i am the better for it, more compassionate, tougher, and grateful for the many things I took for granted about my body, I’ve learned to appreciate my strengths more and learning to do many things again has certainly made life more interesting, recovery proceeds….at its own pace. My body won’t be rushed, but makes advances when its good and ready to. Therapy showed me different ways of doing things, but mostly its been trial and error; a lot of error, but I stay at it. I still have confidence in my solid brain, It’ll come back all the way, when its good and ready

  2. Anonymous says:

    I’ve lived mostly a charmed life until now…plenty of success, this detour reminds me not to take things for granted, but to celebrate each miniscule advance. Despite it all. life is very good. i run a small business which had its own stroke during the recession, but we are healing together, and a great deal of progress has been made although there is still far to go, we’ll get there though i have no doubt. M

  3. Marta Szwaya says:

    Last week, I bought two pairs of shoes. strappy black sandals with hot pink trim…I never expected to buy pretty shoes again; much less wear them, but I worked hard to eliminate my AFO I jettisoned it a year ago and now I can consider the pleasures of normal shoes; no heels yet, but maybe someday :O) i think with time that all things are possible. Marta

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