Whoa! Calvin!

calvin busy“I’m not having enough fun right now.”

 My favorite quote from my favorite comic strip: Calvin and Hobbes. I am right there with that rascal Calvin, although I’m playing the game according to my own rules, I’m still losing.

My current dilemma: I am experiencing so much improvement that I expect a whole lot from myself. I have been exhausted since Halloween. I feel extremely heavy in body and spirit.

I sleep exceptionally well at night, so I should wake every morning refreshed.

Each afternoon I force myself to stretch out in my quiet bedroom to rest, but lately my brain is stuck in high gear as I try to complete a novel I’ve been writing since before the stroke.

I am caught in a frustrating cycle of my own high expectations and despair at not achieving my goals.

Another problem might be the fact that in the past month Northwest Arkansas has been granted only two sunny days.

I think I have a case of seasonal affective disorder: SAD, in addition to being kinda sad I’m not superhuman.

My husband, Jack says I’m trying to do too much.

I think I’m just trying to get back to normal. Maybe he is right. I may never get back to what I once knew as normal. I just need to establish the parameters of my new normal. I need to focus on one chapter at a time rather than an entire novel. Break life down into manageable pieces. The big picture is simply to enormous to wrap my head and arm around.

Today’s solution: time to go curl up with my own version of Hobbes. Purring always makes me relax and smile.

About Vic Cobb Fountain

Empowered Stroke survivor: appreciating where I've been, anticipating where I'm going.
This entry was posted in cats, stroke and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Whoa! Calvin!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Vic, toime to practice being kind to yourself, I too have had a lot of improvement, but it’s that last part that is so very very hard. Here in Chicago the snow has fallen…and its a very long time until Spring. intellectually, I understand that I will always be not quite right and have the residual effects of stroke; that I can live with, but not the wishing to be different…that’s ther drag on my spirit. my new normal is fine, not perfect, but fine. I’m working hard to make it be enough. Keep the faith…we keep moving forward. Marta

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