Gravity, the Great and Powerful

fallingSometimes, I feel so good, I forget my limitations. This might sound like a good thing, and in a way it is, until reality literally brings me back to earth.

I’m not certain if balance issues are due to some teensy brain-damage or simply the physical lack of feeling/awareness of my entire left side. Forgetting half of one’s body quite likely throws balance off.

I get occasional reminders that I’m not 100%, like watching the tile floor get closer and closer to my face. A surprise action in slo-mo.

Bend over too fast, too far and that’s what happens. If not for my extremely hard forehead hitting the floor first, my nose would be broken today. It escaped that funky boxer look with only a couple of scrapes from the grout between tiles.

Earth to Vic, “Take it easy, your balance sucks.”

I’ve lost count of the falls I’ve taken in the past 3 ½ years. I only really remember the scary ones, the tumbles I’ve taken inside on tile, especially the unfortunate encounter with a rug resulting in a shiny black eye.

I need to slow down, if not for myself, for my traumatized family members, who either witness the incidents or, come upon me sprawled harum-scarum on the floor. They deserve a break from all this.

I can’t even imagine what this is like for them, the sudden resurfacing of old fears, the instant of terrified uncertainty.

I am sorry dear family. I am throttling down to turtle again. Just for you.

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About Vic Cobb Fountain

Empowered Stroke survivor: appreciating where I've been, anticipating where I'm going.
This entry was posted in stroke, stroke recovery, stroke survivor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Gravity, the Great and Powerful

  1. barb0803 says:

    Falling is the scariest. Even though I have so little control over anything in my life, losing control completely and having such a limited way of protecting myself makes stairs, especially, very threatening. Although there are times I go as fast as I can, it’s only on flat, unobstructed surfaces. Otherwise I’m slow and methodical.

  2. Marta Szwaya says:

    Me too girls, Although i think that has as much to do with getting older and smarter too. My balance is quite good, i don’t even fear falling anymore, but the recalcitrant left foot needs the time it needs. I’m working with a consultant at work today, so I rearranged my office Friday so we could work side by side, which meant my computer tower is now on the far side of my desk which means I have to get up and walk around said desk to turn it on.Slower is fine, but it also takes more thought. I miss not being automatic but having to be mindful always. M

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