Vacuum Attack

vacuum-attack-cartoon-woman-has-nozzle-cleaner-stuck-to-her-head-41987050 (2)There are some things a person should know NOT TO DO. Especially a college educated person, someone with the most liberal of liberal arts degree. Someone who has lived 55 years and has the use of only one hand, which should make me ultra-careful.

Never vacuum the rug wearing a long floppy poncho. Bending over to move the infernal electric cord, I watched the front flap of the poncho shoot right into the machine’s powerful vortex of suction and form a super-glue bond, threatening to either wring my neck or adorn me with a cumbersome Shark necklace. (My vacuum is an attractive purple and relatively lightweight, but nothing I’d wear as a fashion accessory.)

Responding to the impending crisis with astounding speed and dexterity, my right foot clamped down on the poncho, while my working hand wrangled with the vacuum. The power switch has 3 settings, OFF, ON and MORE ON. Of course, the first flick of the switch turned it to MORE ON. My “chances” always tend toward less luck.

Finally switching the damn thing off, I still had to unreel the poncho from the twirly thing.

“Lefty” got in on the action for this maneuver. Both feet pushed on the vacuum while my overworked right hand pulled the fabric away from its new best friend.

My somewhat screwed-up body/brain astounds me occasionally. When threatened with strangulation they click right to life-saving. My right foot functioned with monkey-like nimbleness.

Another lesson successfully learned with super-hero assistance from my adroit right side.

Way back in the immediate post stroke days, nurses admonished me for calling my left side “bad” and my right side “good”.

I still try not to do that….I like “adroit” for my right side and, well “dead-ish” for Lefty and Lida.

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About Vic Cobb Fountain

Empowered Stroke survivor: appreciating where I've been, anticipating where I'm going.
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2 Responses to Vacuum Attack

  1. barb0803 says:

    Adroit – I love it! Back in the beginning, when I was scrambling around for an adjective for my left side, a friend suggested “recalcitrant,” which,except for its length, I love. It conjures up a petulant child you just want to send to time-out.

    I’m relieved to hear that your encounter with Shark left no damage.

  2. This sounds terrifying. I’m glad you were able to wrestle yourself free. After 11 years I am still learning that the challenges after a stroke never go away. P.S. Therapists say “sound hand” and “hemiplegic hand” to get around the good hand – bad hand thing.

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